He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
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Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
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The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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