I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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