I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
