hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
