bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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