Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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