I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
