If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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