Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
