Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
