brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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