non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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