Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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