your parents love me but you hate me
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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