She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
