Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
