with your own penis?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
