trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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