She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
