wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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