did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
