My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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