I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize