haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
