The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
