You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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