Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
