I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
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it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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