why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
