Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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