I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
