he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
