Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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