I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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