my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
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Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
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Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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