I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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