Do you still have your period?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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