You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
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You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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