yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize