So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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