i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize