so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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