All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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