absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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