idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
