he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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