he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
