you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
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Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
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The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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