Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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