I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
