So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize