Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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