I want to stick my p in your. b.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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