brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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