The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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