Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
