Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
