I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
