East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
