Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
